As seen at The Clutter Museum.

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see you?
“The Flowers of Bermuda” (Stan Rogers)

Will I have a happy life?
“The Engine Driver” (The Decembrists)

What do my friends really think of me?
1. “The Gift” (INXS)
2. “Allelluia” (Dar Williams)

Do people secretly lust after me?
“Khvalite Imya Gospodne - Praise The Name Of The Lord” (From Sergei Rachmaninov’s “Vespers” as performed by the Robert Shaw Festival Singers — Apparently not…)

How can I make myself happy?
“You’ll Never Be the Sun” (Emmylou Harris w/ Dolly Parton and Linda Ronstadt — Make myself happy with sad songs. Brilliant!)

What should I do with my life?
“I’ve Got my Love to Keep Me Warm” (Kay Starr, the Stuhr Remix)

Will I ever have children?
“The Humpty Dance” (Digital Underground — hmm…)

What is some good advice for me?
1. “Telling Stories” (Tracy Chapman)
2. “Unsung Psalm” (Tracy Chapman)

How will I be remembered?
“I Am Weary, Let Me Rest” (The Cox Family)

What is my signature dancing song?
“Stayin’ Alive” (Bee Gees — Absolutely!)

What do I think my current theme song is?
“I’m Bad Like Jesse James” (John Lee Hooker — So you’d better watch out.)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
“Puer Natus est Nobis” (The Benedictine Monks of Santo Domingo de Silos)

What song will play at my funeral?
“Home is Where I Wanna Be” (Bilal)

What type of men/women do you like?
1. “Long Time Gone” (Dixie Chicks)
2. “Sorry You Asked?” (Dwight Yoakam)
3. “Saint Behind the Glass” (Los Lobos)
(I’m doomed.)

What is my day going to be like?
“Sweetest Perfection” (Depeche Mode)