Narcissistically yours

As seen at The Clutter Museum.

Explain what ended your last relationship?
I don’t really have time to get into it now, but I took a trip to the U.P. in my 1963 Dodge Dart to visit my *ahem* “girlfriend” and came back on a Greyhound after meeting my “girlfriend’s” new boyfriend a few hours after my car’s engine exploded at 1:00AM in rural Michigan. I spent the night in the Milwaukee bus station and returned home with no car, no girlfriend, no cash, and no luggage.

When was the last time you shaved?
This morning.

What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
Crawling along in traffic on 495, listening to NPR.

What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Finishing a weekend’s-worth of work e-mail.

Are you any good at math?
Am I. But not as good as others in my mathematics program.

Your prom night, what do you remember about it?
Triscuits. I will say no more.

Do you have any famous ancestors?
Yes, and we’re still waiting for our statue in the statehouse. I swear, how many witches do you have to press around here to get some respect?

Have you had to take a loan out for school?
Yes. I’ve almost paid off the first round. See if you can guess how old I am.

Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace profile?
I’m too old cool to date teenagers.

Last thing received in the mail?
The Economist

How many different beverages have you had today?
1

[Answering machine question snipped for assininity]

Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
I think it would be those frickin’ madrigal folks from the Ankeny High School in the 3rd grade. Or Tracy Chapman in 1995. Or The Specials in 1993. Or Little Ed and the Blues Imperials. Take your pick.

Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Beach?

What’s the most painful dental procedure you’ve had?
I had an abcess once.

What is out your back door?
Backdoor?

Any plans for Friday night?
Not yet.

Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
Ocean? Water? Put my head under the water? Are you crazy?

Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
Yes. Good the first day. Not so good after that.

Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Yes. One show was about the near-1 probability of nonterrestrial life. I went with my fundamentalist father. Good times!

Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Yes.

Some things you are excited about?
Peace on earth, goodwill toward man.

What is your favorite flavor of JELL-O?
Cherry.

Describe your keychain(s)?
Kansas City. Schlage. Vita. UM392 (x2). Sentry.

Where do you keep your change?
In my pocket so that it jingle-jangles as I walk.

When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
I talked about DICOM to the young’uns last month. That was about 20 people. Last November I talked about MATLAB and HDF to about 50.

What kind of winter coat do you own?
Light. Medium. Parka. Today was a light day.

What was the weather like on your graduation day?
I don’t remember. It was May in Wyoming. I think it rained.

Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
It depends on how well-behaved the kitty is.

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