Making the Lows Go

It’s day #2 of Diabetes Blog Week. Today: making the lows go.

First off, I want to assert that food tastes better when I’m driving the magic bus. Maybe it’s because there’s no less guilt about eating tasty things. Maybe it’s because part of my brain is actually turned off. . . literally. It’s kind of like hearing a favorite song as you drift off to sleep, the equivalent of eating something tasty for the first time. It’s a “new” food experience, and it’s wonderful. And there’s a raw, physical craving for food that I rarely ever experience, too.

But, I hate hypoglycemia. Along with enhancing the flavor of food, it brings other less welcome sensations, such as my brain and eyes trying to trade places and the fear of passing out. So I primarily eat to make the feeling go away.

Add to that the (perhaps incorrect and not altogether bad) feeling that diabetes usually prevents me from eating as much as I want. Back in the bad, pre-pump days of my NPH regimen, it was actually the only excuse to eat more than an exact amount on a rigidly defined schedule.

Combine all of these and it’s not hard to believe that I tend to over-treat my lows. I’m not as bad as I used to be, but it’s still hard to have the hypo feeling and say, “That’s enough. Stop eating tasty, mostly guilt-free food. Diabetes, you win again.” No, I can say that I used to use my lows to stick it to diabetes.

Switching to glucose tablets (and having better influence over my blood sugar) has helped curb the practice. Tabs aren’t that bad — and they’re much easier to eat while exercising, which is why I switched — but they aren’t exciting either. Eating one for the 40th time is no different than eating one for the first time. A bit chalky, a bit melt-awkwardly-in-your-mouth, a bit artificially flavored. Yummy, huh.

Do I miss the days when, sitting up wide awake in the middle of the night, shivering in the middle of the summer because of the cold sweat, I would go down to the kitchen and pour myself some juice and then rummage through the kitchen eating until I got my good sense back? No, not at all.