So HGH, Epinephrine, and My Liver Walk into a Bar…


Today in Diabetes Blog Week we’re talking about the things we do spectacularly. I’m not a superstitious man—except for throwing spilled salt over my shoulder—but I’m keenly aware of hubris or karma or whatever you call being too sure of yourself. I’ll do my best to get past it for today’s post’s sake.

Yesterday evening on the way back from the grocery store, I asked Lisa what she thinks I do very well when it comes to diabetes. Her answer—after saying that I’m often too hard on myself about diabetes, “which is understandable because it’s difficult”—was this: “You’re really good at exercising with diabetes. You do it a lot, and you’re not hypo all the time afterward. So I guess it’s that.” Then she asked if I’d read the post from Kerri about the elliptical and lows and juice boxes and whatnot. (I admit, I had a moment.)

So, I guess it would have to be that: exercising. In particular, I’d point at swimming. My stupid-high BGs before the triathlon Sunday notwithstanding, swimming is usually the easiest and most predictable thing I do with diabetes.

I get up at 5:00AM. I set a temp basal rate for 0% for 1.5 hours. I swim from 5:45 to whenever (usually 30-40 minutes). I go back to my locker and silence the “OMG!! THE SENSOR SIGNAL IS WEAK. WEAK!!!1!! I’VE LOST MY SENSOR! IT’S SOOOO LOST! WTF AM I GOING TO DO??!!!?” alarm on my Minimed pump. Get ready for work. Test. Deliver 1.0 units of insulin or so. Drive to work. And have a perfect-ish BG morning.

If I’m below 130 beforehand I’ll have a little snack. Otherwise, it’s like a little early morning gift delivered three times a week.

I can only imagine the internal body dialogue that might be causing this night swimming pre-dawn / early morning swim phenomena:

Human Growth Hormone: Yo, Epi, are you awake?

Epinephrine: YES! I’m always awake. And I’m amped and ready to go. What do you have in mind?

HGH: Let’s go wake up Liver and see how much glycogen he can spare.

Epi: YES!

HGH: Hey, Insulin. ‘Sup? Your blood sugar?! Haha. I’m just teasing. Seriously, though, WTF man? You just keep chillin’ for a little while longer. Epi and I have some unfinished business with Liver.

Insulin: Wait . . . what? Oh okay. I guess I’ll just stay here for a little while. Um, guys. Am I disappearing?

Epi: YES!

HGH: Hey, Liver. Wanna go swimming?

Liver: Let me grab my towel.

Epi: SWEET!

This entry was posted in Diabetes, Diabetes Blog Week, Swimming. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to So HGH, Epinephrine, and My Liver Walk into a Bar…

  1. Scully says:

    Holy crap dude… this is hilarious!!

  2. Kim says:

    That conversation just made me day. :D

  3. Céline says:

    I completely agree. Early morning swims knock diabetes into complete submission.

  4. shannon says:

    hilariawesome! also, i <3 that song by rem.

  5. Maria Q says:

    Who knew hormones could have a sense of humor? Awesome post!

  6. Jess says:

    best impersonation of a medtronic cgm alarm EVER!!!! :D

  7. Mike Hoskins says:

    My new favorite inside-the-head conversation ever, and that vocalization of the CGM sensor alert is so what I’m going to be thinking whenever my CGM freaks the eff out. Awesome post, Jeff!!! And congrats on being so awesome at exercise, my friend… really makes me want to get back into swimming.

  8. Jeff Mather says:

    Thank you. Thank you. I’ll be here all week.

  9. Mrs. Harer says:

    That convo made me laugh so hard, glucose tab dust came out of my nose.

  10. Caroline says:

    I go back to my locker and silence the “OMG!! THE SENSOR SIGNAL IS WEAK. WEAK!!!1!! I’VE LOST MY SENSOR! IT’S SOOOO LOST! WTF AM I GOING TO DO??!!!?” alarm on my Minimed pump.

    BRB cracking up like whoa

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