Category Archives: NaBloPoMo

Bravery

There are people who know what they’re supposed to do, and they do it. Then there are people who know but don’t do “the right thing.”

I am in—I must confess—the latter group of people when it comes to diabetes. It’s not a new thing. I’ve mentioned this issue in passing a couple of times here and talked about it with very close friends (with and without diabetes) before. I even tried to tell my endo about it one time when she asked why some of my readings were unexpectedly higher later in the day, but I think I might have been too vague on the issue, and she didn’t quite get it. I always assumed it would get better. “One day I will have insulin pump settings and carb counting skills that I believe in,” I told myself. “Then I’ll live in a new golden age of diabetes, A1c- and confidence-wise.”

It’s not that easy . . . not for me at least.

I’ve done the testing, and I’ve seen that the settings work. I mean, just look at the CGM trace during a basal test a couple of months ago:


But insulin still scares the hell out of me! Seeing a big number in my pump’s bolus wizard is daunting and triggers a thought process like this: “12 units of insulin is enough to lower my blood glucose 600 mg/dL without food, and my BGs are really good right now, so there’s not a lot of wiggle room. . . . .” So I often dose too little for the carbs I know suspect are in food, and then I have to chase the high blood glucose later. Frequently, when all is said and done, I end up correcting over several hours with the insulin that I should have given initially.

Couple this with defensive eating. What’s that? Consider a graph like this one, which shows my BG heading downhill precipitously.

Is my blood glucose going to stabilize, leveling off as it approaches the target like it’s supposed to? Or is it going to keep speeding downward until I’m hypoglycemic? In this instance—as in most that I’ve seen recently when I’ve forced myself to just let it go and see what happens—it’s the former case; my meal bolus, correction, or exercise brings me right where it’s supposed to. Nevertheless, I have to work really hard to hold off the temptation to preemptively treat a low (which might never arrive).

“Why do I do this?” you might ask.

Because having hypoglycemia sucks in a way that’s hard to imagine. Because I don’t want to be in a situation where it might embarrass me—or worse. Because I don’t like the feeling of losing control of myself that it brings. Because I don’t want other people to worry about me if I go low too often. Because I don’t like relying on other people or inconveniencing them. Because I’ve been hypo a lot in my post-diagnosis life, and I’m not very confident that I can do things the right way.

Basically, because being brave is hard. It takes mental strength and faith, and it is very draining to be constantly pushing oneself out of a comfortable zone, even when it’s not a good place to begin with.

But I’ve been here before in other diabetes contexts, and I find it very comforting to know that I’ve succeeded when I put my mind and courage into it. Here’s what I wrote about it a year and a half ago:

For the longest time I’ve only been making haphazard changes to my diabetes management for exercise. Now is the time, though, to treat diabetes like swimming. I have to jump into the deep end. Or rather, I have to jump into the open water where I can’t see the bottom and where I’m far away from land and where all that I have around me is the water and my insecurities and the hopeful knowledge that I can do this because I’ve done this before. I have to gather up my courage and take a risk, make the observations about insulin and food and exercise, bolus for things I eat before exercise, and eventually (hopefully) arrive at a place that’s more manageable (if not always comfortable).

To quote Mark Twain, who would totally have been a BA-D-Mofo: “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear.”

So to that end, I’m doing a bit of cognitive behavioral therapy every time frequently when it’s time to make a “difficult” (but utterly routine) diabetes decision. If I find myself hesitating about bolusing, I ask myself why I don’t want to give the full amount. If I catch myself thinking I should eat to prevent a low, I ask myself why I’m prepared to do that. Usually the answer to the question is based in fear and not fact. I then remind myself that 90% of the time bolusing or not eating has worked in the past, and then I do the right thing (usually). It’s getting easier, and hopefully these decisions will be part of a successful, unconscious habit soon.

Posted in Diabetes, NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2012 | 6 Comments

True Confessions… Monday, 5:00AM

I have a confession. I don’t really like getting up to go swimming. Usually my displeasure is just a normal part of the transition from sleeping to waking, but some days—as I’m standing in the waist-deep water adjusting my goggles and convincing myself to put my head under the water—I don’t even really like the idea of swimming until I’ve gotten a few hundred yards of water behind me. I’ve gotten past the point where I was a few years ago when I couldn’t wait for the swim to be over, but there are still days that I’d rather not be doing it, even though I like the way I feel afterward. Basically, swimming doesn’t bring me the same pleasure that riding my bike for hours or running through the woods and suburban neighborhoods does.

This morning as I was getting ready to put on my swimmers and the rest of my clothes before heading to the pool, I had to do that whole “goal-oriented” thing that I seem to be drawing upon a lot recently. Why do we go to the pool? Because the only way to get better at swimming is to swim, and the pool isn’t going to swim itself. That’s right. Now go do it! But I swear that if I hadn’t paid for my swim classes already and been seeing some improvement from them, I’m not sure I would have dragged myself out of bed on Saturday at 4:15. And if today weren’t the only day the pool is open this week, I might have gone back to bed for another half hour (even though I would have been awake for a good part of that thinking about how “bad” I would have been for not going to the pool).

But I did get up on Saturday to drive to Worcester, do some drills, learn some pointers on the high-elbow pull—which I had learned about on the flight back from LA—and get a really nice compliment from Patty, the coach, as I was leaving the pool deck. (“Hey, your technique looks really good.”) The rest of the day I could tell that I was doing the pull correctly (at least with my right arm) since my deltoids and triceps feel like I’ve been lifting weights.

And I didn’t go back to bed this morning. Instead I went to the pool and swam 2,050 yards in a delightfully cold pool. I had only intended to swim 40 laps, but I lost count somewhere in the 20s and finished with one extra. Usually I count laps—in Spanish on the way out and French on the way back—and do a new split timer on my watch every 10 laps. In the recent past, when I was averaging a minute per 50 yards, it was easy; I could just look at my watch, and if it was closer to 9:00, I had one more lap. If it was near 10:00, then that was another 500 yards. That’s all changing, and I have to pay more attention to my lap count. Now if I see something near a 9:00 on my watch in the first three-quarters of a mile, I know that’s probably 10 laps. (I still slow down a fair bit near the end of an endurance session . . . which just means that I need to do more speed and strength work on the other two days that I go swim.)

I’m not going to say that I’m fast yet. I swim at a very fast pool. Between 5:45 and 6:30AM the lanes fill up with fellow triathletes, former collegiate swimmers, and a whole bunch of very speedy high schoolers. I’m not the slowest person at the pool under 50 anymore, but I’m a lot closer to keeping up with Jennifer and Dara and the girls’ swim team. I know it’s not a competition, and I spend most of my swim focusing on my technique and pace, but I find it’s good to be reminded that I can get faster and to have a whole bunch of people faster than me nearby to spur me onward.

That’s why I go to the pool at an unreasonable hour: to practice and to get faster. I feel like I’ve broken through a plateau where I had been stuck for about a year, and every morning swim is a chance to continue progressing. It’s probably going to take a bit longer before I eagerly hop out of bed to go swim . . . maybe even until summer when I go to the lake again. Nevertheless, here’s hoping a week away from the pool, with some extra sleep along the way, refreshes me enough to make it to Christmas.

Posted in NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2012, Reluctant Triathlete, Swimming | 1 Comment

Hats

Lisa and I went to Peabody Essex Museum today to see “Hats: An Anthology by Stephen Jones. The exhibition included hats from as early as the 11th century, but most of them were Jones’ creations from the last ten years. (It also included some fantastic pieces by Philip Treacy, which were amazing!)

The hats were all behind glass, but at the end there was an interactive section. Well, sort of. Here was the result for me:

Posted in I am Rembrandt, NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2012 | 1 Comment

¿Como se dise “oscuro” en français?

Some time ago I heard a lecture that touched on language a bit. Timothy Ferriss stated that you need to be comfortable with about 1,200 words of vocabulary to have conversational fluency. (This isn’t just conjecture. There’s some evidence that if you know 1,000 lexemes in Spanish, you can understand almost 90% of spoken conversation.)

Ferriss also said that the Rosetta Stone model of pretending that you don’t know anything about a language or “language” in general—learning like a child does—is crap. We have a lot of linguistic context to draw on as people who possess one or more languages already, and we should use that knowledge to accelerate learning a new language. This rings true to me; I’ve had some success with a Rosetta Stone course, but I find the process of learning how to put sentences together with its method so slow. He suggests learning a new language with explicit reference to one that you already know. Obviously you need to leave enough wiggle room for idioms and the ideas behind expressions, but most language isn’t very complicated.

One other very intriguing suggestion was to use the acquisition of a new language to strengthen another language that you previously learned (but which isn’t your native tongue). I decided to try this with my Spanish class and have been taking my notes, which are mostly just vocabulary lists, in French.

The instructor holds most of the lecture in Spanish, although lately more English has been seeping in as the concepts are getting a little more complicated. (And several people still have trouble with one of the first verbs we learned). At first, it was very difficult to hear the Spanish word and an English translation or explanation and then write down a French phrase. One of my notes from the first day said exactly that: «C’est assez difficile d’écrire en français, écouter l’anglais, et étudier l’espagnol.» Gradually that’s getting easier, too.

I’m kind of amazed at how well it’s working out. For the most part I can make a very accurate translation of this intro-level Spanish vocabulary in French. It probably helps that Spanish and French share so many words. (It almost feels like cheating.) Writing out sentences about grammar is a little trickier, since my French is better at describing things and events than abstract concepts, but eventually I get there, too. On just a few occasions, I’ve had to write an English word or phrase [in brackets] as a placeholder until I could get an answer from Google Translate about a proper Spanish to French translation.

Two words that surprised me that I didn’t know? The color-modifying adjectives “oscuro” and “claro.” It turns out the words for “dark” and “light” are “sombre” and “claire,” which I could have totally gotten in the context of a sentence . . . clearly just not from the dark recess of my mind.

That and “lazy.” Perhaps it’s good that my high school French classmates and I didn’t hear the word “paresseux” often enough from our teacher to know instantly that it was the proper translation for “perezoso.”

Posted in Bon mots, General, NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2012 | 5 Comments

Los Angeles

As I mentioned yesterday, I spent a little time in Los Angeles recently. I arrived Sunday afternoon and had a few hours of daylight to sightsee. Monday, the day of the developer conference, I was wide awake at 4:00AM. While I was able to fall back to sleep for another hour, eventually the jet-lag won. I spent some time in bed with Facebook before getting ready for an early morning run through downtown LA.

I brought my running shoes with me because (a) there was so much room in my bag that I had to bring them, (b) I have a running plan to keep up with, (c) running keeps me centered, and (d) I’d run in so many other places this year that I thought it would be fun to run in one more city. (Let’s see . . . I’ve run in Milford and nearby towns; Barcelona; Hamilton, Ontario; Philadelphia; Vinton, Iowa; Minneapolis; New York City; Casper, Wyoming; Colorado Springs and Denver; Cincinnati; Old Orchard Beach, Maine; and Los Angeles. Whew!)

Downtown L.A. felt safe to me—and I certainly didn’t have anything on me to steal—but all of the homeless people on the street at 6:00AM definitely made it a different place than anywhere else I’ve run this year. At one point as I was going through an interchange, a couple of guys on their way to work (I presume) were using the crosswalk perpendicular to me. They had the right of way, and one of them called out a friendly “¡Ay, perro!”. I responded with an “¡Hola!” before I realized that he was talking to someone coming down the sidewalk from the other direction. He pretended to run a few yards with me. Sometimes I miss how friendly places other than New England usually are.

The conference itself was pretty good, but that’s a story for another day. I wish I’d had more time in the city, since I think I’m finally starting to see it in a new, less pessimistic way.

Here are some pictures, mostly from Sunday afternoon and evening.

Posted in NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2012, Running, Travel, Western Adventure | 1 Comment

Shoulders, Elbows, and Arms

Sunday, I flew to Los Angeles to attend the bi-annual meeting of the International Color Consortium. On the way out, I did a bunch of reading and note-taking on stuff from the office. The ride was kind of choppy for an cross-continental flight, so I didn’t get a chance to stand up and walk around much. On the occasions when I did stretch out in my chair, I realized I was doing the extension drill that we’ve been practicing on Saturday mornings at the pool: arms straight up and pressed close to the ears, one hand over the other with the top hand’s thumb curled under the bottom hand.

During last Saturday’s class we worked on extension a little more and put on fins to work on our kick. I’m learning how to rotate my shoulder forward and inward so that my arm reaches as far out in front of me as possible. Not only does this prepare me for a good catch and a long pull, it tightens up my core and lengthens my body, making me more slippery in the water. I’ve been told to pay special attention to my hand placement so that my hips stay high in the water. There’s a lot to think about, which is why we do a bunch of drills so that it becomes second nature.

After about 45 minutes of drills, Patty (the coach) said, “Okay, let’s do a set. We’ll do 5×100 yards. Pause after the first one to get your pace.” Off I went. The pool was fast Saturday morning, and I was keeping up with the other four lanes as we led out the swim. Imagine my surprise when she called out a 1:30 at the end of the first 100. Either the YWCA pool is smaller than the high school’s or . . . I’m getting faster. Yay!

Of course, she also said during the third 100 that, as I tired, I wasn’t getting nearly as much extension as before. So I worked on that for the remainder of the set. That’s typical for me; my times at the beginning of a set tend to be faster than the later ones.


Yesterday, I flew home. Since there was no WiFi on this flight, I decided to read Swim Speed Secrets, written by American Olympic gold medalist Sheila Taormina. I had been holding onto the book for a few months, waiting until I could devote lots of thought to it. The time had finally come to learn the secret. It’s quite good—well written and perfectly illustrated for clarity—and I recommend every swimmer go through it.

What’s the secret? It’s super simple, really: Keep a high elbow during the pull and feel the water with the whole forearm and hand. By keeping the elbow high and the hand straight with the forearm, you create two levers with each arm and recruit a whole bunch of shoulder and core muscles to push yourself through the water. She provides the analogy of pulling yourself over a wall below you in the pool. (Here’s a PDF excerpt of what her form looks like.)

I probably amused the flight attendants yesterday on a couple of occasions by making small swimming poses with my arm to see what this felt like. (Fortunately for me, there was no one in the middle seat on my row.) This morning I went to the pool and paid attention to my elbow placement. I have two thoughts: (1) Even if Scott Johnson gushes over my V-shaped swimmer’s back, pulling with your elbows high uses the shoulders in a very new and intense way, and I need extra strength there to make this work. And (2) OMFG, the far wall approached really, really fast! I could feel the water better with my forearms and hands, and it really did feel like I pushing myself past something in the water. Not only that, but I could actually feel my stroke starting in my core more than before, and my body rolled the way it’s supposed to as the lever of my arm created a torque. My time for the first 500 yards was just under 9:15, which is fast enough that I almost worried I had missed counting a lap!

I still have quite a way to go before this is second nature, and it’s pretty clear that I have an imbalance between my left- and right-hand strokes. I also noticed that I was paying a lot less attention to my extension and kick (the things we worked on the last couple of Saturday mornings). Plus, as my arms grew tired, it was harder to keep my elbows up and have as strong of a pull, and my times suffered a lot at the end of my 2,000 yards. Friday, I’ll do more drills so that I can be mindful to each item in isolation.

The drop off in my speed at the end of the sets notwithstanding, I’m so excited about these two developments. Now I just need to practice, practice, practice. Fortunately (?) the winter is long.

Posted in NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2012, Swimming, Travel | 4 Comments

In the Mood for Love

This post has been sitting in my “Drafts” folder for a very long time. Today seems like a good day to dust it off and finish it, since I want to post something but lack the mental energy to actually write anything new. More tomorrow. . . .

I was talking to a friend recently a while back about “In the Mood for Love,” my favorite film. Set in Hong Kong in the 60s, it’s the story of two neighbors—played by Maggie Cheung and Tony Leung—whose lives intersect in complicated ways. While there’s not a lot of dialogue or plot, the film unfolds slowly and beautifully. By the end of the film, you feel as though you fully understand what the characters are thinking and feeling and the kind of choices that they will or won’t make. Perhaps it’s most accurate to say it’s part of a lifetime of artistic work by Wong Kar-Wai on the theme of memory and choices.

There’s an important scene in the film about secrets where one of the lead characters whispers a secret into the knot of a tree and then covers it over with mud. We’re left to wonder what the secret was (in the film it could be one of a couple choices based on your outlook on life and hopes for the characters) and whether telling it (but to no one in particular) actually frees the character from the burden.

As a man with few secrets, it’s an intriguing question: Is it really possible to unburden yourself by telling a secret into a black hole? (BTW, when I saw Kerri’s post about a diabetes version of PostSecret, I immediately thought of this scene from the film.)


Supposing that you liked that, but still aren’t sure whether you want to sit through two-plus hours of some of the most beautiful filmmaking ever, here are a pair of compilations of scenes from the film—a sort of art-house musical montage/homage, if you will.

Have any of you, my dear readers, seen this film? Any Wong Kar-Wai fans out there? Let me know what you think. And what are your thoughts about secrets. If a secret is something you tell another person, is it as liberating if you anonymously tell the universe or no one in particular?

Posted in General, NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2012, Video | Leave a comment

Playing Doctor

Today, Lisa and I performed surgery . . . right there next to the Macy’s at the mall.

We were there after another of my early morning swim classes—where I learned to kick better—and an 8-mile run after I got home from that. (Hey! Don’t look at me that way. I’m going to be on a plane to Los Angeles tomorrow when I would normally be running, and we all do what we must to get by, right?) We needed to have lunch, get something to organize my exercise clothes—which runneth over—and to get Lisa a coat. We had a bit of time to kill between when we were done shopping and the 2:30 showing of “Wreck It Ralph” (which is fun for all ages) so we decided to look at the two big robotic surgery devices that Brigham and Women’s Hospital had set up.

“Would you like to give it a shot?” Honestly, I wanted to get my hands on the actual device that people were using to place small rubber bands on little spongy rubber mountains that wiggled when you bumped them with the probe the wrong way. (“Well I just botched that poor bastard’s laparoscopic prostate removal. Sorry.”) But the simulator would be just fine . . . for a start.

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“You play video games?” It was easier just to say yes than to explain that, while I love playing first-person shooter games, I always have horribly violent dreams afterward. So I don’t actually play them anymore. (We’ll see if I have dreams tonight where I’m beating up terrorists’ innards while performing their bariatric bypass surgeries.) “You know how you eventually don’t have to look at the controller and can just do things by feel and intuition? Well, that’s what this simulator is for. Doctors can spend hours practicing before operating on living patients.”

“Okay, put your thumb and middle finger through the two loops on each handle, look through the goggles, pick up the colored ‘jacks,’ and place them in the ‘dish’ of the same color.” In the viewer I could see a CGI scene of computerized jacks, dishes, and my claws. I took a moment to familiarize myself and then I went to town, moving the misplaced appendix—I mean jacks—to their appropriate place. It reminded me of a miniaturized version of the nuclear fuel handling device I played with at the museum in Arco, Idaho. I did pretty well on my first try (78%) and I got a few pointers for the next time—whenever that might be.

Then Lisa gave me the shopping bags and gave it a whirl. Turns out, she is the one you want doing your surgery. Girlfriend got a 94% on her first go! She was quick and efficient, just like she is in real life. No risk of virtual patients bleeding out while Lisa Mather, MD, is at the controls.

After that, the machine with real-world objects opened up, and I moved little rubber bands onto springy little mountains that had chunks taken out of them by obviously less skilled hands. Lisa didn’t give this one a shot, but I’m sure she would have done it better than I did. (She graciously said that I was better than most of the people we had seen playing earlier.)

It was interesting and fun and very space-agey, yet I couldn’t help wondering whether the $2.5 million dollar machine was worth the cost? Did it give better results? Everything the manufacturer reps said seemed to indicate that it would be—better motion control, less fatigue for doctors, less pain and trauma for patients, the ability for surgical specialists in one country to treat patients in another—but the proof is in the peer-reviewed studies. They assured me that there is published research that says the outcomes are just as good or better using robotic surgery, but (if I were needing surgery) it’s something I would want to check out for myself.

But I had a lot of fun playing around with medical devices. It reminded me of the time several years ago when I went to RSNA, an enormous convention dedicated to radiology. I was killing time before a session when a GE Healthcare rep saw me. “You there! Come try out the new workstation.” I think she assumed that I was a radiologist, and the next thing I knew I was sitting down in front of a very powerful computer performing a virtual colonoscopy next to actual radiologists (who did know what they were doing) with their own displays.

When the device rep told us all to navigate to a particular anatomical structure I felt like I was Chevy Chase in “Spies Like Us.” I might have leaned back in my chair so that I could steal a glance at my neighbor’s workstation. Eventually I gave up any pretext of following along, but I remember thinking, “This is soooo cool! I’m making a movie of flying around in some dude’s colon. Yippie-ki-yay!”

If you need any medical treatment, go see a real doctor. But if you want to play one on TV, hang out with me outside the Macy’s at the Natick Mall.

Posted in Health Care, NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2012 | 1 Comment

Support Groups

Today I spent some time providing the T1 patient’s perspective at my hospital. I’ve been part of the hospital’s diabetes management program for a while, and today was one of the semi-annual advisory meetings. I feel honored to be part of this group. I have learned so much about how hospitals work by seeing it from the inside, and together over the years we—CDEs, dietitians, physicians, administrators, community members, and patients—we have come up with some great solutions for reaching people with diabetes and helping us improve our outcomes. Recently it’s also been an opportunity to bring advocacy lessons from the online community to the hospital setting.

The program has been struggling with its support group recently, and we spent a lot of time discussing it today. I like “real world” support groups (although I haven’t been to one in a long time). The online ones run by patients for patients—like the DSMA tweet chat—are so valuable, but they miss some important things that are difficult to get outside a physical, healthcare professional-led context. It’s just plain hard to get doctors and pharma reps involved directly with patients via social media. So we don’t get a lot of information about new research, hands-on experience with devices, or drug info. (There are some excellent examples of people blogging about devices and products, but it’s not quite the same as seeing/trying it for yourself.)

The hospital’s support group is currently on hiatus while they try to reboot it. Evidently there were some folks with “difficult” personalities (mostly T1s) who derailed the group and made it hard for the newly diagnosed and the T2s to feel like they were getting the most out the sessions. The proposal to make the group exclusively for people with type-2 elicited strong (but respectfully stated) reactions, and we had a good conversation. There are differences between the needs of the T1 and T2 people, of course, but in my mind the similarities are enough to make a blended group worthwhile. We all count carbs, use glucose meters, need to exercise, see the same specialists, and try to learn how to cope with a chronic illness. Plus, there just aren’t many options for people with T1 to get together on a regular basis.

The main arguments in favor of being T2-only focused on the need to reinforce the basics of self-management among the recently diagnosed, with the assumption that most T1 adults have had diabetes for quite a while, which was a notion that I did my best to counter, using myself as an example. Plus, feedback from many T1s in the past was that they just didn’t feel like they fit in with the T2 crowd. Differences in ages between the two groups and issues like making the best use insulin and the emotional drain of living with diabetes for such a long time, these things left many of the T1s who visited the group a couple of times eager to seek out other T1s.

In the end, Daphne, a former patient who had gestational diabetes with all of her pregnancies, proposed a solution that resonated with the hospital crowd. Why not focus the support group on people who have been diagnosed with any kind of diabetes recently, with the expectation that they will eventually “graduate?” This is similar to other support groups at the hospital—the bariatric clinic’s group seemed to be the poster child—and Daphne’s suggestion broke the logjam. I’m still not certain about this. Diabetes isn’t something you outgrow or learn to master. Unlike weight-loss or grief, you don’t progress to a stage where it’s “easy enough” that you’re ready to move on with normal life. But I think the idea to base it on how green a person is with diabetes certainly gets the program moving again, which is important.

My hope is that with some new people and a different vibe, the program will be a place where people who are newer to diabetes can learn and find support and then, over time, the program can change subtly to accommodate people like me who also want to be around other people with diabetes and learn what’s new. Because I’ll tell you, thirteen years after my diagnosis, being part of a community that shares in successes and frustrations and talks about what works and what’s new seems as important as when I was newly diagnosed.

And since I’ve already been asked to attend some of the early sessions in the new year, I’m hopeful we can make this happen.

Posted in Diabetes, NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2012 | 2 Comments

T1 Represent

I’m gradually learning the names of the people I swim with. There’s Pat, who I seem to have known for as long as I’ve been swimming. “Pink Suit Lady” is actually Jennifer. Then there’s Joy, who hasn’t been to the pool much since her first triathlon in September. Katie is the young woman in the blue suit; I learned her name this morning. A fellow swimmer pointed out Chappy the Pool Guy’s real name on a plaque with all of the other people in the Massachusetts Swim Coach’s Hall of Fame. Yup, Pool Guy is a hall of famer.

Today I met Ned.

It started out weird. I was walking out of the shower—a time when I try to ignore anyone and everything between me and putting on my clothes—when he asked, “Do you have an insulin pump?”

“Yes. Have you heard it beeping?” My pump, which is also my CGM, starts complaining loudly after a half-hour of being away from me.

“No, I saw your infusion set.” Clearly here’s a man who knows something about diabetes. I’ve always wondered whether people see the diabetes paraphernalia attached to me and what they think about it. “I used to have one of those, but I found it too easy to be complacent and cheat. And my A1c kept going up, so I switched back to pens.”

“Hey, you go with what works,” I said. “I like the pump, and I need the tenth of a unit dosing that it allows.”

We chatted a bit about being diagnosed as adults. Before he was diagnosed 32 years ago at 29, he told the doctor, “I think I have diabetes,” and the doctor replied, “Let me be the judge of that.” His 800 mg/dL blood sugar was quite convincing. Like many adults, he was misdiagnosed as type-2. If I remember correctly, he was on pills for a year before starting insulin.

Then he said something that surprised me about his diabetes—— Let me back up.

In the water we all move in our own way, while on land we’re pretty similar in how we walk around. I’ve noticed Ned walks with a limp and a cane. For years, his doctors assumed that the problems with his legs were diabetes related: “You’ve had diabetes for decades. These complications are normal.” He finally found a specialist who was able to see past the diabetes to the underlying cause: adult-onset muscular dystrophy. “At 61, I’m finally one of Jerry’s Kids,” he joked. Here was the surprising thing. The doctor who diagnosed him indicated that there’s some evidence his diabetes may, in fact, be partially caused by the same thing behind his muscular dystrophy.

The human body is a fascinating thing in its pathologies.

Posted in Diabetes, NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2012, Swimming | 3 Comments

Cognitive Dissonance… Saturday, 5:30AM

Charles and I were hanging out on the pool deck waiting for our 5:30AM Saturday swim class to start. Since there were a bunch of us in the class, we decided to share a lane together (along with Dan, a guy that neither of us knew). Patty, the instructor, was banging on a locked box with her tennis shoe. Inside the box were a bunch of swim fins we would be using in practice.

“Okay, why don’t you hop in? Here’s how it works: The faster people are usually in the middle lanes, and the slower people on the outside.”

Charles and I looked at each and then at our pull buoys and fins, which we had plopped down in front of lane 3, a fast lane. “I guess we’re going to need to move this stuff.”

We are both members of the Landry’s tri club and swim together in the sumer. In the couple of races that we’ve both done, I have been slower than him on the bike and run, but he’s always chasing me at the lake. (Even though I’m definitely mid-pack during those summer open-water swims.) Neither one of us considers ourselves especially fast.

Patty stopped us, “Based on the class you took last month, you’re in the right place, Charles.” We looked at each other, shrugged, and hopped in for about five minutes of warm-up swimming.

“You’re faster than me, Jeff. Why don’t you start, and we’ll circle swim.”

And I was off. A few minutes later I caught Dan, passed him at the wall, and then was holding myself back to keep from swimming into Charles. Somehow I was in one of the fast lanes and had lapped my lane mates.

“What is going on?” I wondered. “Why am I one of the slowest people at my pool in the morning and during races and one of the fastest people whenever I go to a swim clinic? I’m here to become more efficient and powerful—and I’m sure I will—but I’m having the worst cognitive dissonance right now.”


This paradoxical fast-but-not-fast thing has been going on with me for quite a while.

If you’ve talked to me about my races—whether running or triathlon—you know that I’m almost always happy with my results. I race as fast as I can go, and (depending on the competitiveness of the event) I often do very well overall. I don’t beat myself up for not being able to go faster than what my abilities will allow me. Far from being envious, I love the competition that comes from having faster people around to push me to my best results.

Of course, from time to time you’ll also encounter my frustration or impatience. Just because I do well doesn’t mean that I’m completely satisfied. Even though I’ve progressed a lot over the last couple of years in every athletic area, I sense that I can keep improving. I’m happy with the accomplishment, but I want to do better next time. “What do I need to do to be faster next race or next year?” It’s a question I ask myself all the time, and the answer is usually to keep putting in the hours and doing the workouts. I’m a firm believer that—no matter how innately gifted you might be—you can’t begin to approach your potential without lots of hard work. I’m fine with that; the race is just the tip of the iceberg, and I find all of the training deeply rewarding.

The one place where I’m rather impatient, though, is swimming. It’s true that three years ago, I could barely swim, and two years ago I was swimming more efficiently but not very quickly or very far. I’ve come a long way since then—swimming in open water and the ocean, racing, and generally getting faster—but I’m still nowhere near as fast as I know I can be. Worse, I fear that I’ve plateaued, hanging out around 35 minutes per mile at the pool.

It’s worth saying again that I’m very happy with my results. I’m just very eager to continue progressing, and I’m trying hard to rise to my potential.

So I’ll be waking up at 4:15AM on Saturday mornings again for a little while longer. And I’ll be putting on the fins and doing the streamlining drills on weekday mornings. And learning how to kick better and transfer power from my core to my arms and . . . Let’s just say I’ll be working hard.

Posted in NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2012, Reluctant Triathlete, Swimming | 5 Comments

If You Have to Ask the Price… Radiology

What if there were a way to reduce the cost of healthcare in the US by $100 million? There is. “What is it?” you ask. Read on.


As a result of some work projects, I subscribe to a couple of e-mail newsletters about radiology. One targets radiologists, while the other aims at the people (like me) who build solutions for those medical professionals. Usually I’m too busy and delete the messages without reading them, but every so often I’ll dig in a little to find out what’s coming down the road that we might need to respond to. There rarely is anything, but I find the behind-the-scenes view of healthcare fascinating.

The two biggest nontechnical issues that keep coming up are (1) shrinking reimbursement rates, and (2) increased utilization of an ever-growing number of expensive scanners. MRI and CT machines can cost in excess of $3 million each, and there’s a desire to push lots of patients through them to recoup the cost. The US federal and state governments (through the Medicare and Medicaid programs) try to rein in the unnecessary use of these devices. And a lot of private insurers follow the federal government’s lead when it comes to the rate that they will reimburse imaging clinics and radiologists. (Remember, only suckers—and the uninsured—pay the full “asking price” of medical care.)

It’s a huge problem. The radiologists feel squeezed, being asked to do more work with less money coming in for each case. The hospitals feel like they’re caught up in an arms race with each other to have the “best” equipment and with smaller imaging clinics which use older, less costly equipment and have higher reimbursement rates because they see more patients with private insurance. And patients (god bless us) don’t really know which imaging procedures we need or which imaging providers are the most cost-effective. When we’re feeling sick (or worse) and the doctor says to get a chest X-ray—and BTW here’s where to go to get it—we don’t really call around for the best deal. We just do what’s recommended.


One recurring theme is physician self-referral for radiology services. What’s that? Here’s how a 2002 article in the American Journal of Radiology described it:

Self-referral takes two principal forms. A physician who is not an imaging specialist (or a nonphysician provider, such as a podiatrist or chiropractor) directing patients to his or her own on-site imaging services was the first form of self-referral. Common examples are obstetricians (or their staff) performing sonographic examinations, internists performing and interpreting chest radiography, and orthopedists performing and interpreting musculoskeletal radiography. We include in the concept of self-referral all radiologic imaging done by nonradiologists because the financial incentives are the same regardless of whether a particular type of imaging is predominantly done by nonradiologists, which may affect its quality. The second form of self-referral consists of physicians referring their patients to outside facilities in which the physicians have a financial interest. This second form, which is often called “joint venture” self-referral, has been targeted by federal legislation with respect to services for Medicaid and Medicare patients. Some states, but far from all, have similar legislation applying to non-Medicaid and non-Medicare patients. Because coverage by legislation is incomplete and arrangements exist that attempt to avoid the effects of legislation, we include this form of self-referral in this review.

A host of claims, both positive and negative, have been raised regarding self-referral. The most prominent concern is that inherent conflicts of interest stimulate excessive utilization of health care services and thus generate excessive costs. Quality of patient care, access to services, and patient safety can purportedly be compromised because financial interest might dilute norms of care and quality assurance. Physicians who refer patients to their own services on-site are nonradiologists. Arguments are made that such physicians are generally less qualified because of a lack of relevant training and experience; order more, and more inappropriate, procedures; produce images of poorer technical quality; and are more prone to errors of interpretation than are radiologists. Self-referring physicians’ facilities may have poorer quality control of equipment maintenance, calibration, and film handling. Similar concerns are raised regarding referral to an outside facility in which the physician has a financial interest, with particular focus on higher utilization, poor access to services by underserved populations, and inadequate quality control.

Proponents of self-referral to a physician’s own on-site services argue that such self-referral is convenient for patients and physicians. Proponents maintain that some problems such as a fracture should receive imaging and treatment at a single office. Proponents also say that quality of care can be better in self-referral settings because the treating physicians are better qualified to interpret diagnostic tests relevant to their specialties and have better insight into the specific patient’s problem. Furthermore, physicians may commit diagnostic and related treatment errors as a result of foregoing tests when referral to a radiologist is inconvenient. Access to care for underserved geographic areas might be better with self-referral because of the greater availability of financing for imaging facilities. Finally, economies of scale and the presence of physician owners who are familiar with the patient and his or her financial limitations may help control costs

Okay, that’s what it is. But is it bad? Yes, says the same article:

In short, self-referral constitutes most of nonhospital radiography and sonography and results in utilization and costs usually two or more times as high as in its absence, with overutilization likely; and self-referral generally involves poorer quality.

And this is where the $100 million figure comes into play. The radiologist-focused AuntMinnie.com site reported last week that

A new report from the U.S. Government Accountability Office (GAO) takes a hard line on physician self-referral of imaging services, detailing more than $100 million in annual unnecessary spending in CT and MRI alone. The report recommends steps to curb the practice, including a pay cut for self-referred imaging studies. . . .

The report estimates that in 2010, healthcare providers who self-referred likely made 400,000 more referrals for advanced imaging studies than they would have if they were not self-referring, and these referrals probably cost Medicare $109 million. The referrals are particularly problematic for CT, as they are exposing patients unnecessarily to ionizing radiation.

The report makes several recommendations to help the U.S. Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) identify and rein in self-referred imaging studies:

  • The CMS administrator should insert a flag to identify self-referred imaging studies on Medicare Part B claims forms. Providers should be required to indicate whether the services for which they are billing are self-referred.
  • CMS should implement a payment reduction for self-referred advanced imaging studies to recognize the efficiencies that occur when the same provider refers and performs a service.
  • CMS should develop tools for ensuring the appropriateness of self-referred imaging services.


That $100 million is just what taxpayers kick in for Medicare. The overall impact to the health care system would be much larger if the changes could be applied to people with private insurance, too.

Posted in Health Care, NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2012 | Leave a comment

Anchors – Friday, 5:45AM

. . . In other news, my legs are beyond worthless when I swim. It’s been ages since I swam with a pull buoy (which you put between your thighs for flotation and to move all of the effort to your upper body), but I used one this morning at the pool. Imagine my surprise when I saw that my time over 100 yards was consistently 10 seconds faster when I didn’t use my legs. Those ten seconds might not sound like much, but they turn into more than three minutes over a mile, which is a big deal.

And just to prove the “My Legs Are Anchors” point, I also used a kickboard this morning for the first time. Those 50 yards were so slow and not pretty. Not at all. I’m very glad there were only three of us at the pool for most of the morning, so that no one got to see my shame.

Well, tomorrow is a brand new day. Hopefully, Patricia the Swim Instructor will whip me into shape. I’ll be channeling my inner Céline for sure.

Posted in NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2012, Reluctant Triathlete, Swimming | 3 Comments

Racing into New Territory

Halloween is over, but I’m still kinda scurred.

Yesterday, I updated my running plan to account for the fact that I haven’t really done many of the long runs that my plan said I should. I could probably manage the 10 miles slated for this weekend, but the longest I’ve run recently was the 7+ miles a couple weeks ago when I went hypo on the trail. Ten miles might be slightly too big of a jump to do without risking an injury. The 8 miles prescribed in my new plan seems more reasonable.

The distance isn’t what has me nervous, though. It’s the speed. After running a 5K in 21:11 in the middle of September, the computer is predicting a 1:33:26 for my next race, the New Bedford Half Marathon in mid-March. [1] That’s a 7:08/mile (4:26/km) pace. Dang! I know that I can run that fast over shorter distances—it’s 20 seconds/mile (12 sec/km) slower than my 5K speed—but it still seems pretty aggressive for a long-distance race. [2]

Nevertheless, the plan is actually quite reasonable, with one speed session/week at paces I can already manage, one long run, and two or three other recovery runs—which I might substitute with a bike workout and/or some exercise to improve my running form. Along the way, it gradually increases both the distance and speed. I’m just having a little trouble believing the idea of running so fast for so long.

But that’s the whole purpose of speedwork and training: to get faster, know what it feels like, and be ready to give a similar effort during a race. A good coach—even a virtual one like mine—is supposed to provide a plan that spurs an athlete into territory where he or she had always hoped to be but wasn’t sure it was possible to go. And that’s definitely where I am right now; I can run the speed I need to, but will I be strong enough (mentally and physically) to do it for 13.1 miles? The plan says, “Yes.”

Off we go!


1 — I also ran a slower (but equally intense) trail 5K a few weeks after setting my post-high school PR. It rained before and all throughout the race, and the air was windy and cool, too. Basically, it was perfect cross-country running weather. The wind had blown lots of leaves onto the trail, and the rain made them quite slippery. I had an exciting moment early in the race when the lower half of my body started sliding to the right as I was trying to lean into a left-hand hairpin turn. I don’t know how I didn’t fall down, but I’m sure it looked amazing as my arms flew up into the air for balance. [Back . . .]

2 — My target pace of 7:08/mile is about 0:10/mile faster than Boston qualifying pace for someone my age for a full marathon, after all. Just saying. (Not that I’m looking…. *ahem*) [Back . . .]

Posted in Life Lessons, NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2012, Reluctant Triathlete, Running | 1 Comment

Swim Lessons

This was in my inbox yesterday.

Hello Swimmers,

You are registered for the 6-week Tech Swim Class that begins this Saturday, November 3! I am looking forward to seeing you in the pool.

Here are a few details: Please arrive between 5:20-5:25 (doors open at about 5:20), and on the pool deck by 5:29. We will start promptly at 5:30. You need a swim cap in the YWCA pool; these will be provided. If you have a pair of training fins, please bring them to every class. If you don’t own them, I have plenty to share in all sizes. Also bring any other training tools you may have, such as pull buoys, hand paddles or gloves, etc. If you don’t bring your own fins, you should grab a pair from the coffin on the pool deck before you get into the water.

That’s 5:30 AM, y’all . .  on a Saturday . . . in a town 40 minutes from where I live. OMG, what have I done?! Well, I want to learn how to swim faster. whimper

Posted in Life Lessons, NaBloPoMo, NaBloPoMo 2012, Reluctant Triathlete, Swimming | 4 Comments